Sometimes it's easy to notice when kids seem to feel good about themselves — and when they don't. We often describe this idea of feeling good about ourselves as "self-esteem."
Kids who have healthy self-esteem tend to:
feel valued and accepted
feel confident that they can do what's expected
feel proud of a job well done
think good things about themselves
feel prepared for everyday challenges
Kids with low self-esteem often:
feel self-critical and are hard on themselves
feel insecure, or not as good as other kids
focus on the times they fail rather than the times they succeed
lack confidence
doubt their ability to do well at things
Why Self-Esteem Matters
When children feel good about themselves, it sets them up for success — in everything from school to friendships. Positive feelings like self-acceptance or self-confidence help kids try new challenges, cope with mistakes, and try again. Taking pride in their abilities and accomplishments helps kids do their best.
By contrast, kids with low self-esteem might feel unsure of themselves. If they think others won't accept them, they may not participate as often. They may allow themselves to be treated poorly and have a hard time standing up for themselves. Kids who don't expect to do well may avoid challenges, give up easily, or be unable to bounce back from mistakes.
Having low self-esteem can block success. It can leave kids distracted by the stress of how to deal with everyday challenges.
How Self-Esteem Develops
Contrary to what some might think, self-esteem does not come telling kids they're wonderful, special, and great (even though they are!). Giving every child a trophy doesn't help kids' self-esteem. Indeed, it's possible for kids to feel good about themselves even when they fail.
When children compete — win or lose — they see that their own hard work and practice can make a difference. Earning a prize contributes to self-esteem only when a kid knows he or she earned it.
Self-esteem is the result of experiences that help a child feel capable, effective, and accepted.
When kids learn to do things for themselves and feel proud of what they can do, they feel capable.
Children feel effective when they see that good things come from efforts like trying hard, getting close to a goal, or making progress. For example, kids who take part in a service project feel good about themselves when they see how their actions matter.
When kids feel accepted and understood by a parent or someone close, they are likely to accept themselves, too. Their good feelings about themselves multiply as parents praise good behaviors, help when needed, and give encouragement and support.
Read More: http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/self-esteem.html#
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